Do you enjoy being angry as much as I do? Well the sight of this photo should make you angry enough to kick a puppy in the dick and enjoy it more than summer vacation, being popular in high school, and a 21st birthday in Amsterdam on Christmas combined.I was at Target (you heard right, ladies) and I was fortunate enough to witness this gem of laziness and general disregard for humanity. If you look closely, you will notice that this carriage is not in the carriage cradle. I don't know if those carriage returns are actually called carriage cradles, but it's what I'm going with.
Please just stop and really look at this. There is a carriage in an empty parking space, then there are two empty spaces (very choice for driving a carriage through), and then there is a carriage cradle with an abundance of room for occupants. Plenty of room. Plenty. Of. Room.
What kind of Mos Eisley Cantina reject fuckface doesn't know how to put a carriage back in the carriage cradle? Stray carriages smash up people's cars, block parking spaces, and cause more traffic because people have to get out of their cars to move them! I tried to comprehend how someone could possibly be this lazy, but luckily I had an aneurysm and passed out. I had never had an aneurysm before, but thanks to this miracle of sloth, that has been checked off the bucket list. My feeble chimp brain seized up like an engine and my final thought before it all went dark was, "How could someone be THAT lazy?"
Clearly, a person who doesn't push an empty carriage with wheels across two empty parking spaces to return it to it's rightful resting place just doesn't give a damn about anyone else at all. I'll guarantee that the egocentric, ass-blister douche who did this is the same type of person that chews with their mouth open, pees on the seat, and interrupts people all the time with no regard at all.
Whoever left this carriage out of it's cradle deserves to be forced to watch all the food they ever ingest first be chewed up by random, fat, sweaty, sore-covered, AIDSy strangers before they can have it. Next, they should never be able to finish a sentence without someone changing the subject or tweezing one of their nose hairs. That will really piss them off since, inevitably, whatever they're talking about is definitely about them. Also, they should be forced to sit in pee-pee-squish-cushions every time they sit down in life. I'm talking all the time. Toilet. SQUISH. Couch. SQUISH. Bench in the park. SQUISH. Pew at church. SQUISH. Anything, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. SQUISH. And finally, their car should ALWAYS be covered in random little dings, dents, scratches, and chips from the universal disregard that we (the rest of the world) have decided to reciprocate with.
That seems really harsh, I know. But I'm only saying it should happen because after they have to endure all of that, then maybe there is a possibility that they will start thinking of other people. That's big since they're surrounded by them. Maybe they'll teach their kids to put things away when they're done and to think and use their brains and great stuff like that. "Son, don't be a douche like your old man."
*cue the Shinedown
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
This was an angry post. Sorry about that. The next one will be happy. Promise. Oh! And to all of the people that do that leave carriages out of their cradles, I'd just like to say SQUISH you, you lazy, chew-with-your-mouth-open, piss-on-the-seat, ass-faces. I hope someone keys "PUT SHIT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT" into the side of your beamer. Fucker.
